I slept off trying to fight off Ruka's thought with Ronke's fantasies. It was not easy.
I woke up around 4:41am. It's saturday. All my family members were still sleeping; why won't they? They have been through a lot during the week. I picked up my phone; checked the airtime on it. I have N156 on my phone. It's not much to make a long conversation. I tried getting back to sleep but I just can't. I drafted a message to Ruka.
" I'm not texting to beg you back (no). I'm just concerned about us. I'm very sure that neither of us had a good night rest (smiling). Ruka, I might have lied to get into your life but I never lied when I said I love you. I love you Ruka but it's too late for that now. Just find it in your heart to forgive me and I pray that you............"
I ended the text with a blank space. I wanted her to fill the space with her imagination. I forwarded the 3pages text message to her exactly 5:03am and it delivered almost immediately. I read the message again, trying to guess what was going through her head as I imagined her reading the text.
I relaxed when I finished reading the text. I was not surprised when I saw her call rang on my phone. I picked with my heart in my mouth.
Me: Good morning... how are you doing?
Ruka: I saw your message.... I dint get the last part of the message.
Me: okay... has it gotten that bad that you no longer return my greetings?
Ruka: okay.... good morning.
Me: (smiling) morning... how was your night?
Ruka: it was fine... now answer my question?
Me: okay.... the message is meant for only you.... anything you fill in there.... is what it is.
Ruka: so you pray that I will find another person. Okay.... thank you very much Femi... thank you very much.
Me: it's not what I meant.... what I meant was that "I prayed that one day, I hope... we will be happy together like every other day except today.
Ruka: (voice calm) so what do you want from me?
Me: to be frank with you.... I don't know. I just don't want to see you hurt like today again.
Ruka: (voice shaking) so you prefer her over me? I understand you very well.
Me: it's not what you are thinking... I'm very sad about the whole issue. I just don't want such things to happen again.... (cuts me off)
Ruka: (crying) I bet it won't happen again.... just keep to yourself. Don't text me with blank messages. I thought you wanted to apologise but I can now see clearly that you have been playing me all along. You broke all the humanity inside of me. I told you about my past relationship but instead of you helping me get out of the cupboard: you betrayed my love and trust.
Me: (remorse voice) I'm really sorry for making you this sad. I will make it up to you, I promise.
Ruka: don't bother yourself.... you have already failed to fulfil your last promise... what makes you think you will be able to fulfil another one?
Me: I....
Ruka: (cuts me off) Femi... you don't know what you want.... just leave me alone. I will get over it with time. You still have Bidemi to fall back on but what do I have? A broken heart... all thanks to you. (crying) Femi... go and meet your Bidemi.
She terminated the call before I could say anything. I would have called her back but I don't have much airtime on the phone.
She still felt bad about the issue. Why won't she? Bidemi has been a thorn in my flesh. I don't want to beg without sorting out Bidemi's issue. How I got enslaved to Bidemi...Is still a mystery to me. I have had thoughts of letting Bidemi go but I just can't comprehends it with another lady filling her place. I wished the love I have for her... is not as strong as it is....
Poor Ruka... she already knows she is fighting a lost battle.
eyeah *sobs* I feel for ruka
ReplyDeleteRuka shouldn't get too depressed and she should move on.. Femi is a boy that wants to eat his cake and have it
ReplyDelete